im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Randomize
