Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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