plz talk dirty to me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
