My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
