I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
