Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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