And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
