so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
