Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
