i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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