So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
