I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
