if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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