Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
