I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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