Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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