I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
