I hope mine doesn't look like that
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
