So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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