The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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