Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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