I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
did i walk over a car last night?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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