I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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