I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
