JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize