I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
