I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
