Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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