I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
