So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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