I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
