i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
