How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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