Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
