She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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