NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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