Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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