Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
