Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm bleeding and have questions
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
