I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
