I accidentally burped into my bong.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
