Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
