look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
