We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
