I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
