What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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