okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
