My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize