I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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