she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize