If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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