Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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