I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
