i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
