the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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