I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize