man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
