I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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