omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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