She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
