Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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