What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
