But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
