you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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