Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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