whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
