We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
