Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
