Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize