I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
