There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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