Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I still have a little drunk in my system
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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