Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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