I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
