i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
