If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
