Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
