this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
