afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
