I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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