I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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