just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
