His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
