i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
