How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize