im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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