I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
