Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
