final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
